How pissed off am I? I’m devoting an entire blog to venting my anger so that I can continue to claim the mantle of pacifist instead of shopping for weapons and showing up on the evening news.
My opening salvo, and what may well dominate this space in the foreseeable future, is the rude and slobbering idiots who are allowed to drive cars in our fair city of Seattle. This one has to do with stoplights and turn lights. You're driving along, and you see the light turn red a hundred feet ahead. You stop. Okay, I’m sitting there at a red light, maybe going straight and maybe in a turn lane. I’m the tenth or twelfth car in line.
I can clearly see the lights ahead, and I watch it turn green. I depress the accelerator just a tad in anticipation of moving and... nothing! Nada! The six cars in front of me are not moving. WTF! I know from experience that those dipshit traffic planners only have that light timed to let maybe six vehicles make a left turn or ten cars to cross the intersection.
Of course, that assumes that THE BRAIN DEAD, NOSE-PICKING TEXTING FUCKING MORONS AT THE FRONT OF THE FUCKING LINE ARE PAYING ATTENTION! I see maybe two cars make a turn or move through the intersection up front, and then nothing happens. I can see the goddamn pedestrian crossing sign counter going down - 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - I’M FUCKED! I’m turning beet-red. My hands are beating on the steering wheel; my BP is probably higher than the Dow Jones Average, all because some stupid bastard somewhere in front of me doesn’t know how to drive and certainly doesn’t give a shit about anyone behind them.
Come on, people! Would you please not keep testing my commitment to pacifism? Don’t start painting your fucking nails because the light is red; it will turn green in a matter of seconds. Pretend you are driving in the Indy 500 and keep your head up and your foot near the accelerator, damnit! Learn to drive or take public transit so I can holler at you morons collectively as the bus driver blocks all traffic!